PAIN NOTE THE RESSUREKSHUN OF RAY PEMBER repost
by subconscious-majesty
Summary: A repost of one of the "Light and Dark: The Adventures of Dark Yagami" spin-offs. This time in color.
1. Chapter 1

_This story belongs to D'arkYagam'i, the best writer of the universe. It's just a repost, because I can't find this anywhere_

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**PAIN NOTE ~ THE RESSUREKSHUN OF RAY PEMBER!**

It was a happy day in America because it was bright and the sun was shining and people were happy going about there daily business. Ray Pember stood under streetlight smoking a cigarette. The smoke was flying around his head and it shone in the sun like a shiny cloud of smoke.

A motorbike drive past and stopped and backed up and stopped again and got off the motorbike and took off her helmet and kissed Ray Pember on the cheeks and then the mouth. Ray took the cigareete out of mouth and kissed Noami back.

"How was japan?" asked Ray taking the cigarette and blowing smoke hearts in the sky like 3.

"it was nice. There was this guy called beyond birthday and he killed himself and this guy called L helped me arrest him and then he got kiraed in prison."

"it is funny that you should say that. That L guy called me on my cell phone and said that I should go to japan and help him find kira.

So they went to japan. They flew on an airplane because the road was really long and it went through the sea and they had to get a boat which was no good because I had said not to go on the boat incase kira had found them and sunk the boat

When they laned in japan the sun was almost set and just poked over the skyscrapers that Tokyo was full of.

Suddenly qa gold notebook flew out of the sky and landed with a splat in front of ray and he picked it and looked at the cover and it said pain note and the writing was all red and it looked lke blood but unbenoenst to them it was blood be cause they guy who wrote it was blud who was like a really shinigami whoo loved blood almost as much as he liked blood bananas (see my oter fic about Dark yagami for more details!) and named himself after blood because it was so good.

"what the f-ck is a pain note!" wondered ray pember allowed and accidently wrote the name of a random guy in the pain note. Suddenly a guy behind them shouted oww that hurts.

Ray looked over the note. Iut had rules in the front like a death note did in fact they were the death note rules but someone had crossed out death and written pain and also it was written in blood whci h was sticky and red on rays fingers.

Ray gota pen and wrote light yagami in it but he didnt know he guy yet so it didn't work and also he didn't know but light wasnt his real name but more on that in another fic!

Then someone stood behind him in a grey hood and killed a janitor. It was...light!

"do some stuff for me or I'll kill you!" said light.

Then a whole bunch of stuff happend like you already read in the manga or seen on the show im not going to repear it here but then ray died on the train or something I don't know he comes back soon so don't worry about it

Noami was upset and picked up the pain note and looked at it. The blood red cover glowed red like blood. In her anger she wrote a whole bunch of names from the phone book and like soon half of jaapn was in pain because of this evil notebook

Then Blud appeared in front of her and he was a big guy like the size of a house only smaller so he could fit on the train with her and he said

"I can bring him back but on one condittion: you hav to sex with me.

Noami fell back on to the bed and sexed with the king of the shinigami which was hard becasse he was so big and also becase shinigami cant have sex but he was bedding the rules because he was king and he could do whatever he wanted. He had a magic thingy which was the size of a subway train and noami had to squeeze to fit it in

They sexed for a bit then they stoped because they were done sexing

You are very good he said putting on his trousers back on. "I can see why he loved you because you sex well and also you are beuatiful

Then ray cmae back to life and they all lived happy ever after except light becase he got arrest

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**NIEN MONTHS LATER**

Noami took a pregnancy test and it came back blue which sometimes means shes not pregnant but she checked the box and this one meant she was pregnant

"Ray I have something to tell you. Im having a baby... and its bluds!"

DUN DUN DUURN!


	2. Chapter 2

AN I spelt Naomi wrong in the first chapter. Soz!

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"WHAT THE F-CK HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?" screamed ray as he jumped away from his breakfast creals of luky charms where he had been eating.

Naomi gave Ray the pregnancy test and he looked at it but not to close because it was still wet ad icky.

"this happened to my sister ray ayanmi"

"I thought ray was your first name

"no. I am ajpanese and in japan your first name is your last name or something"

"okay but aren't you pissed about the baby

"I was but then Blud used his magic powers on me and now I fell happy about it and alsso gave me the power to see time and I can see the future

"What can you see?"

"I don't know I cant describe it."

_**BUT I CAN! THIS IS WHAT PEMBER SAW:::::::::**_

(by the way this was in blue but dos not do colors. MORE LIKE . juts imagine the colors)

It is 15 years in the future!

On a spaceship that is flying around the planet mars a strange scrumply detective man is about to make a strange discovery...

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FIVETEEN YEARS IN THE FUTURE!

L walked over the (this was in red) red sandy surface of the planet. The red planet. (this bit wasn't in red and wet back to blue)

On the ground was a red book he picked tit up and opened it. A name was in it in funny writting

"F-ck." He said rubbing his grease hair. "this one is not a death ntoe either. There are more books out there than I thought. He looked at the name and said "damn that's LIGHT'S REAL NAME. if I only I had none that sooner it would have save me time and also some money on my phone bill and maybe also battery on my phone to"

Then a shinigami appeared and these one looked like a naked woman except she was wearing a necklace made of skin and also a space helmet.

_"I AM SECKS THE SHINIGAMI" she said. Under her helmet she had green eyes and her hair was green ever her body hair though she didn't have any but it would have been if not shaved off "THAT IS A DEATHNOTE BUT IT IS A MAGICAL ONE BECAUSE I AM NOT A SHINIGAMI BUT A SHINI時間?_ (AN: That means god of time lol!)"

"What's a SHIN時間do?" L asked curiosly?

_"WE CONTROL THE TIMESTREAM BETWEEN WORLDS. A TERRIBLE EVENT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN AND YOU __MUST STOP IT AND ONLY YOU ALONE! TAKE MY TIME NOTE... IT MAY COME IN HANDY. GO TO EARTH BACK 11 __YEARS AND LOOK FOR A MaN WHO IS HALF SHINIGAMI AND HALF HUMAN. HIS NAME WILL BE RAY BLUD JR BUT __BLUD IS HIS FIRST NAME BECAUSE HE IS JAPANESE."_

"Thank you said L as he wrote the past into his book and magiced himself into the past

_**LOOK OUT FOR THESE EXCITING ADVENTURES IN MY NEW STORY The God of Time With No Name ~ Light's Real Name REVEALED!**_

"Wow" said Naomi listening to this story "That sounds to good to be true. If this was a book I would totally buy it.

"And it happens SOON!" yelled Ray at the top of the voice terrified of the adventures that were yet to come.

_**I DON'T WANT TO GIVE TOO MUCH AWAY ABOUT MY NEW STORY SO HERES SOME FLASHBACK INSTEAD. THIS IS ABOUT THE BEYOND BIRTHDAY CASE WITH THE TRUTH THAT MELLOW DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR! DON'T WORRY THERE ARE NO SPOILERS!**_

"I wish Ray hadn't died" cryed Naomi sadly like a woman.

"There there." Said L tapping her on the back with his hand "he's in a happier place. And once we catch this birthday fellow we can get back to the important business of catching that f-cker kire who killed Ray"

They looked at the names. One stood out of the rest because it was LIGHT'S REAL NAME but they didn't know it yet.

"Who is this hansom man?" they aksed pointing at the same time to a name that said Beyond Birthday.

"Maybe he is the one behind the beyond birthday murders. And then he changed his name or something to fit them I don't know" (AN: I never read the book 8-P)

"We should arrest him"

"I think so 2"

They got in there car and ran really fast to the birthday building where beyond was holed up with a machine gun and an axe and one of those sticks you play pool with.

"I kill you" said beyond who was talking like thay ringtone dude with the skull.

"Not so fats" said L who jumped over that boxes and dodged a load of boxes that fell from the top of the roof

"no so fast!" said beyond who threw more boxes and these ones had shoes in and sometimes bombs and they were harder to dodge.

Then Naomi broke his neck and shot him to kill him. Before he died he said

"and I never felt the touch of a women." So Naomi touched him so he could die happy and she got naked and he smiled and died

"what are you doing you neckrofiliac?!" yelled L and Noami stopped touching him and took her hands from his pant.

"And that's how I solved the beyond birthday case" Naomi said to Ray.

"That's very interesting. Now, tell me the story of LIGHT'S REAL NAME..."

TO BE CONTINUED IN

The God of Name With No Time ~ Light's Real Name REVEALED!

It will be epic and like 9 pages long and took me hours to writ!


End file.
